Claire Ridley and Scott Nugent’s journey over the rainbow to baby joy

On the face of it, Scott Nugent and Claire Ridley appeared to be living a carefree, glamorous and exciting life. Claire’s Instagram posts reflected a lifestyle that many aspire to. Glittering A-list parties, fashion shows, dinner at the best restaurants, travel to exotic destinations, idyllic boating weekends at Rottnest with cool friends and exciting careers. Scott is divisional investment manager at AMP Capital and he just ended his two-year tenure as president of the WA Property Council. When Karrinyup Shopping Centre threw open the doors to the first stage of its new retail expansion, it was Scott’s face that was splashed across our TV screens. A confident, impressive man. A mover and shaker in every sense. Claire is marketing and communications manager at Primewest, but enamoured with all things fashion and an influencer on social media. But in reality, Claire’s posts were only giving half the story. The public face of this high-profile corporate couple was in stark contrast to the private side of their lives. Only a few very close friends were privy to the information that they had embarked on an IVF journey in the hope of falling pregnant. It was a journey that they kept private for 2.5 years until the miracle happened and Claire became pregnant. Three months into the pregnancy, she shared the happy news with her Instagram followers. It read: Announcing what has been one of our most difficult journeys to date ... 2 1/2 long years 7 egg collection surgeries + anaesthetics 10 IVF rounds/transfers 100+ blood tests 60+ ultrasounds 500+ needles 100+ bruises, supplements, medications and plenty of side effects 803 days of trying to conceive 1 early miscarriage 1 ED visit and scare Doing most of it alone (surgeries, ultrasounds, blood tests, transfers) during a pandemic. A LOT of waiting, some amazing science and a whole lot of LOVE.... finally. Baby Nugent is due December 2021! Claire also acknowledged all those still on their own pregnancy journey, saying she knew how hard it was to see this type of announcement. “I truly believe we’re warriors and you’ve got this!” she wrote. The floodgates opened. It seemed that no one had any idea of what the couple had been going through. Many reached out wanting to connect, sharing their own experiences or just expressing their shock that this aspect of their lives had been so hidden. While Scott and Claire are ecstatic that their baby boy is due in December, the raw and very real pain of the journey is still not far from the surface. It’s embedded in their psyches. Imprinted on their souls. The joy on their faces can still crumble at an instant as they speak of their journey. “When we started this journey, we had no idea of what to expect,” Scott tells STM. The closest he had come to IVF was sitting next to reproductive medicine and IVF pioneer Sir Robert Edwards on a four-hour flight years ago. Little did he know that those conversations with the man who pioneered conception through IVF in the 1970s would come back to him so vividly. “He was the first to do it and he explained to me that they never thought they’d be able to,” Scott says. “Back then, they were called test tube babies. “We really had no idea about the process from the doctors. You had no idea what you were getting into. No idea of the emotional pain. The doctors are really focused on the mechanical aspects. Every case is different and sometimes the doctors just say ‘we really don’t know’.” “At the first meeting, you’re basically just handed a pamphlet,” Claire adds. “At the beginning of it, I remember we were on a trip in Cuba and we thought we had it all planned out,” Scott says. “We’d seen doctors and thought we’d have one last trip. Two and a half years later, all plans went completely out the window.” For Claire, this process involved ongoing cycles of fertility drugs, treatments and then waiting for the results. “I guess, at first, you don’t know how long it’s going to be,” she says. “Our journey took a lot longer than we expected. Lots of injections, lots of scans and appointments that you have to fit into your day.” And then there is the grief. Unfathomable grief. For Scott and Claire, that private hell was nine losses. The constant yearning for the baby and then hearts completely shattered when it doesn’t work. “You could even say it was more than nine,” Claire continues. “In the IVF world, we call them Em babies. You actually lose quite a lot of eggs, then embryos, which you lose in the process.” “And you get to see them, so you kind of say ‘go little embryo’,” Scott says. “It’s really hard when you think you’re there and you’re not.” For Claire, the hardest part was the two-week wait. The hormones mimic pregnancy. “You think you are pregnant, you feel pregnant. That process was the absolute hardest.” Scott is an incredibly supportive partner. The bond they share as a couple appears to be very strong. But watching your wife injecting and suffering is another level. “It’s like signing up for a temporary mental illness,” he says. “An extreme amount of hormones were pumped into Claire’s body. First, you have to get the eggs and some don’t make it past day five and then you have to restart the whole process. “You get the excitement of it happening and then it doesn’t. The doctors progressively ramp up the interventions. There’s the nervousness of another failure. Doubling down on every single failure.” Keeping a relationship strong and supportive when both have their own issues to deal with puts a tremendous strain on even the strongest of couples. “We’re not perfect,” Scott says. “There were times it was really tough for us. “Watching your wife go through it is really hard. Five-hundred needles in Claire’s case. I had a guilt that she had to go through it, so it had to be Claire’s call on how long we were going to do this.” “In my mind, if this didn’t work, I was asking myself, what’s our life going to look like?” Claire adds. Scott laughs. “And I said lots of first-class travel and Louis Vuitton bags! I knew that at some point I’d have to help Claire transition from her dream. Thankfully, we didn’t have to go there.” By her own admission, Claire is very driven. She’s a goal-oriented perfectionist. Not being in control of a situation was not in her playbook. “It was hard. I’m very active and I like to exercise and go to the gym,” she says. “It was hard hiding that I couldn’t have a drink. Sometimes I just couldn’t go to events or dinners because I’d had surgery. I found that hard because I don’t like to cancel on people.” For Scott, there was the fear of failure. “For me, it was fear that I was letting Claire down,” he says. “That it didn’t work for her. Claire is more of a perfectionist, but we both like to be in control and you can’t be in this situation.” For many couples, the cost factor is an added stress. “It’s expensive,” Scott says. “I’m grateful that the Government helps us. There’s some Medicare benefits, but without private health insurance, the out of pockets are significant.” It wasn’t only the physical demands and the emotional rollercoaster that took a toll. Claire was still working while undergoing the seemingly endless rounds of egg transfers, injections and suffering. “It was tough because you don’t tell anyone,” she explains. “I remember I had to take a particular injection at 5 o’clock every day, so I’d have to duck out or into a toilet to do it. At first, Scott was doing the injections for me, but then it was easier to do it myself.” For both of them, the desire to advocate for others going through IVF is a priority. “It’s something that definitely needs to be discussed at a corporate level. At the moment, there is no place in the corporate arena where this can be discussed. There needs to be more understanding,” Scott says. “In 25 years in the corporate world, I’ve never had a discussion about IVF leave. Maternity leave, yes. “Corporate Australia doesn’t do enough in this area and I will advocate. It needs to change.” At the time of this interview, Claire was four months pregnant. Extravagant grazing tables, neutral-coloured balloon festoons and a tantalising ‘he or she, what will it be?’ post preceded the baby gender reveal, which was an all-blue exploding glitter bomb Instagram moment. Claire’s post read: “This little one was a fighter and wanted to be here — lucky number 10 embryo transfer! We can’t wait to meet you.” The full interview with Claire and Scott can be heard on the upcoming Inspired Parenting Podcast with Di Bauwens and Di Wilcox. THE PODCAST Journalist Di Bauwens and parenting and education expert Di Wilcox have joined forces to create a podcast, Inspired Parenting, which launches today. For Bauwens, who was social editor at The West Australian for 16 years, it’s a step out of her comfort zone, but one that she is passionate about. During her time on the social rounds she met many people from all walks of life. She says her meeting with Wilcox was serendipitous. “There was an immediate synergy with Di. I have enormous respect for her commitment to making this world a better place for children and it begins with the parents. Di’s rockstar credentials speak for themselves,” Bauwens says. The podcasts will feature in-depth discussions on getting real about parenting with simple strategies from Wilcox as well a range of diverse guests, including Scott Nugent and Claire Ridley, all giving their own unique perspective on parenting. Mode & Affaire’s creative director Sarah Clark, author and health journo Casey Beros, Educated by Nature co-founder Trudi Bennett and Ngala board member Shelley Archer are just some adding their voices to the podcasts. “When it comes to subject matter it’s a bottomless pit,” says Bauwens. “The digital era, raising boys, single parenting, fostering, the primary school years and so much more will be explored in the podcasts.” Says Wilcox: “I am absolutely committed to children’s mental health. Children are never going to reach their potential unless they are emotionally safe and well.”

Claire Ridley and Scott Nugent’s journey over the rainbow to baby joy

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